> Ok, I need to know the deal about J-Girls... why are you guys sooooo desprete for them?

Well, men are always desparate from women (and vice versa.) Since we are here in Japan, J-girls are the obvious choice. Of course, I don`t think this is what you are driving at.

> Well, where do I start? > I am a chick from NZ and I am here (as a lot of others are) teaching English near Tokyo. > On the programme I came with, as well as on other Japan sites like this one, all I seem to hear from the guys is how much they want a J-girl! > > Now I do agree that some are pretty, but there are pretty girls all over the world. But what is it that they have over us other chicks?

It`s hard to say. I think it all comes down to the individual woman as opposed to lumping everything in a group. Personally, I am physically attracted to Asian women because of their legs, their bottoms, and their eyes. I like the body type, bottom line (pun intended.) This doesn`t mean that my particular sources of attraction can`t be found in a Western woman, but they certainly are more prevalent in Asian women.

> > Personally, I dont think I am butt-ugly nor am I super-model material, but an attractive chick who enjoys a good time. But so many of the guys who I have spoken to here would be classed geeks in their own countries, but seem to be treated like Gods here in Japan just because they are foreign. Is this why geeky guys come here? Because they can't get laid in their own countries??

Hehehe, okay here you sound just a little too bitter. It sounds a little like you can`t get a date, and it pisses you off (which is understandable.) There are plenty of J-Guys around who would find you exotic.

And of course, if someone was totally geeky in their own country, and came to another country and were treated like a God, they wouldn`t actually have any cause for complaint. I don`t see anything wrong with that. I don`t quite think that that would be enough of a reason for anyone to actually move to another country, but it sure doesn`t hurt as a bonus.

>Personally, I go by personality not by looks first (but looks do help) and to be able to have a heart to heart where both people can understand is a big bonus of a relationship... is that another reason why foreign guys want a J-chick who may not speak great english because they can be dominant over them??

Sure personality is important. Very Important, and to me looks are important as well. I hate to classify things by group, but here is a theory I have. Japanese men supposedly treat their women very poorly. Offer your coat to a woman if she is cold? Not even in the realm of reasonable expectation, the woman is supposed to offer her coat to the guy. Now along comes a foreign guy who treats a women in what he feels is a reasonable fashion, opens doors, offers coats, etc etc.. and what happens? Appreciation. The woman actually appreciates it. It is not taken for granted. These things do not go unnoticed.

I have sketched this example in Black and White, and things are never as clear cut as that. But it may contain a small part of the answer you are looking for.

Oh, come on, it's not like you couldn't get a date if you wanted to in Japan... doesn't matter if you're as big as a whale. If you're a guy, it's not easy ... no matter WHERE you are or who you are.

As a foreign woman in japan, you can just snap your fingers if you want to try.

Listen, it's pretty simple. For every 10 foreign guys in japan there's about 3 foreign gals. Law of numbers. Plus, western women are arrogant because everyone keeps telling them how beautiful they are in japan and guys will just give you money if you look good enough.

I can't snap my fingers and get a date. But I prefer a woman who believes that her thinking isn't SUPERIOR to men. Japanese women are sometimes subservient, yeah. I hate that. But Western women are almost always under the impression that male behavior is nasty, disgusting and unappealing and they feel the need to CHANGE men. It's not that common in japan. I prefer a woman who sees me as an equal. Sorry, but Western women have got it into their heads that they are now "higher forms of life" than the men around them simply because they're different. They're not down to earth.

Again , I'm not talking about the subservient japanese girls. I'm talking about the ones who appreciate what it is to be an equal AND to be feminine.

So you're basically saying it's not right for geeky guys to get dates?

That's pretty sick, you know? Just because geeks can't get a date doesn't make them bad people. Most are just bookish. I guess it's better to be a wife beating jerk? Think about it for a moment. If a geek is sitting on his can in America all his life and feels lonely and miserable because women won't even give him the time of day, what is WRONG with him seeking out a relationship?

Think about it. Bigotry does not happen just on racial lines.

> Ok, I need to know the deal about J-Girls... why are you guys sooooo desprete for them? > Well, where do I start? > I am a chick from NZ and I am here (as a lot of others are) teaching English near Tokyo. > On the programme I came with, as well as on other Japan sites like this one, all I seem to hear from the guys is how much they want a J-girl! > > Now I do agree that some are pretty, but there are pretty girls all over the world. But what is it that they have over us other chicks? > > Personally, I dont think I am butt-ugly nor am I super-model material, but an attractive chick who enjoys a good time. But so many of the guys who I have spoken to here would be classed geeks in their own countries, but seem to be treated like Gods here in Japan just because they are foreign. Is this why geeky guys come here? Because they can't get laid in their own countries?? Personally, I go by personality not by looks first (but looks do help) and to be able to have a heart to heart where both people can understand is a big bonus of a relationship... is that another reason why foreign guys want a J-chick who may not speak great english because they can be dominant over them?? > > Anyways, I apologise if this makes no real sense, I don't really know how to explain how I feel, but yeah, reply with your explanations, I'm really interested in hearing your reasons....

After a number of years working and travling throughout Asia I met, fell in love with, and eventually married a beautiful Nihon fujin. Amazingly, when I continued my travels and work in Asia with my new wife, I suddenly found that all other Asians had a great increase in respect for me. This resulted from a strong belief, throughout the area, that the best of all lives was based on the following four ideals . . . 1. I had a Japanese wife. 2. I had a Chinese cook. (I did not, but I was an acomplished cook of Chinese cusine so I was covered there.) 3. I lived in a Western style house. 4. I had an American salary. (This attribute was later offset by the limitless expense accounts that Japanese men of my business status had that made it appear that they had big salaries.)

But, the Japanese wife was the overiding consideration in this formula for the "Good Life". The reason for this is the she and I were not only imminently compatible, but her intelligence and adaptability caused us to become a "team", working together to enhance both our own personal lives and our efforts on behalf of whatever company I might be working for. My love was far from subservient, quickly teaching me the difference between stubborn and obstinate. In her case, "stubborn" meant "I won't do that." and "obstinate" meant "I won't do that, even if you kill me!"

1. years later and we still work as a perfect team in all asspects of our lives. She looks half her age, loves everything in our lives, and we have never had what most people refer to as a fight. Arguments, yes. But we have never gone to bed mad at each other.

This is a far cry from my previous wife and every other Western woman I ever married, dated, or worked with. They just cannot be compared!

We prefer slim, sexy girls tather than rotund, man-like western women. Thats all...

The bottom line is women in Western Cultures suck. You do not see personality. I've been in great shape and "fat," more than a few times in my life. When I'm heavy, no chicks... thin, no problem.

Japanese girls do not care. Western women are spoiled rotten and horrible. I'll be in Japan again shortly... for good.

Japanese girls are wonderful. Hygenic, hairless, velvet skin, obedient, smart, broad-minded, passionate and love to please. They are generous, kind, imaginative and want to please a man in every way.

It all boils down to Western imperialism.

Japanese people have an inferiority complex when it comes to white people. So, white guys like to take advantage of the fact that J-gals will look up to them and respect them. The docile, self-sacrificing J-gal will inevitably bow down to the superior white man's command. It always like this in Eastern countries (Third World Countries).

Well as a man who is married to a Japanese woman I feel qualified to reply to your question.

You are right that women in varying countries seem to have a more or less equal level of beauty. However beauty comes in many shapes and forms. Japanese women excel in certain areas (even over other Asian women) and if you're in to those areas you'd swear by Japanese women only. Japanese women are amazingly feminine, have almost scientifically perfect legs (and show them off at every opportunity), a good posture, and outwardly kind appearance.

In my case feminimity in a woman is the most important criteria.

I can't attest for women from New Zealand as I've never been there or met women who I could identify as being from New Zealand but I can speak volumes about how Japanese women are tens times as feminine as women in my home country of Canada are.

What makes Japanese women more feminine than Canadian women?

• They wear skirts/dresses as often if not more often than pants and even when its cold. - They've heard of this thing called "hosiery". - They laugh with their hands in front of their mouth. - When they stand they cross their legs at the ankles. (also incredibly sexy) - They have ultra-feminine voices. - They carry their bags with one hand pointed forward. - They let men show a little chivalry. (such as carrying heavy objects and reaching high places) - They try not to develop muscles when working out (physical strength = masculine) - They actually wear make up and do their hair.(I know so many women in Canada in desperate need of both) - They have more shoes in their collection than just a pair of worn out nikes.

and the list goes on...

Now of course I am making generalizations here. There are of course feminine women in Canada. There are of course less-than-feminine women in Japan. But my generalizations are the rule and not the exception. Japanese woman are also very fit as a whole when compared to Canadian women.

I sometimes get my friends to send me video tapes of shows aired in Canada that aren't available here in Japan and when I see the commercials with women it's kind of a culture shock to me and my wife. Not that they are ugly or anthing. But these women aren't exactly TV material either and they don't wear make up and they only wear baggy pants yada yada... I seriously think that had I not met my wife and moved to Japan I might still find Canadian women to my liking. Now I know the difference and there's no going back.

I don't caste people into groups other than by their spirit/level of their contribution. Having said that I do know what you mean though. I have seen Japanese women of seemingly fine caliber going out with guys that in Canada would have a hard time getting even a lunch date with a girl. But then I find so many wonderfully weird things about this country so I suppose it completes the circle. If this obviously insufficient answer doesn't put you at peace you'll just have to ask one of your J-girl friends.

This input is merely my own opinion but I hope that it can be of some use to you. I wish women from Canada would come forth and ask the questions you have. But I suspect your questions are the result of having lived in Japan and even most women in your home country would never ponder them unless they were in your shoes.

Hey-

As having spent three consecutive years in Tokyo working and dating Japanese women, I feel as though I have valid input on this subject. I think of myself as a very attractive man, and really never had any problems with dating women in the United States (the worst of the lot as far as most men are concerned) It seems as though western women become very upset and confused with this as they spend time in Japan; which is only fitting I suppose as the general consensus with western women is that Japanese men are updatable.

I will not date, nor ever marry a westernized woman now that I have lived in Japan... (this attitude is growing at an alarming rate for western women). The reason why many Western men date and then choose to marry Japanese woman is their adherence to a domestic code.

Post women's-lib era Western woman have been taught, almost from birth, to focus exclusively on bettering themselves and creating a social environment free from a dependence on men as providers. The fostering of this attitude over the last forty years has produced, in my opinion, women ill prepared for the duties of a wife... while men have held the same roll socially. The new, young men of today see this and are preparing for it. Why would I want to date a woman I can not marry? Especially now that gender roll for Western women has become so blurred... I'm twenty-four years old, have never been married nor have children.

Japanese women fit the bill socially. The socially accepted norm in Japan as the proper environment for family life, is not the norm, nor what is expected in today's westernized households. Men see this and don't want anything to do with it. Western women destroyed the nuclear family; now Western men see no reason to date or marry them. It is pointless; there is no longer any benefit to it.

Japanese women provide western men with the lifestyle and family life we want, but are really no longer able to get back home. All the negative attention western women focus on these beautiful, accommodating women of the east, should be directed at themselves, in finding a solution to THERE PROBLEM!

Let me get this straight. You complain about so many "geeky" foreign guys getting hit on in Japan, yet claim to no be interested in how a guy looks? Why opinionate your argument? Right there you've got an example. That's partially why foreign guys dig Japanese girls over Western women.

I now live and work in Washington DC, but I taught English a few years ago with a gothic English girl who happened to be a graduate of Oxford University. She loved to regale her students with stories with how all her English boyfriends had smelly feet, but her new Japanese boyfriend didn't. Just like your "observation" that most foreign guys in Japan are geeks, she further perpetuated the smelly barbarian myth for the benefit of her Japanese students. Of course, I had to supress my own observations on the differences between Western and Japanese women when it comes to vaginal odor... Might this be your problem? You know, I've heard from a friend that NZ women don't wash regularly...

Ok, I need to know the deal about J-Girls... why are you guys sooooo desprete for them? > Well, where do I start? > I am a chick from NZ and I am here (as a lot of others are) teaching English near Tokyo. > On the programme I came with, as well as on other Japan sites like this one, all I seem to hear from the guys is how much they want a J-girl! > > Now I do agree that some are pretty, but there are pretty girls all over the world. But what is it that they have over us other chicks? > > Personally, I dont think I am butt-ugly nor am I super-model material, but an attractive chick who enjoys a good time. But so many of the guys who I have spoken to here would be classed geeks in their own countries, but seem to be treated like Gods here in Japan just because they are foreign. Is this why geeky guys come here? Because they can't get laid in their own countries?? Personally, I go by personality not by looks first (but looks do help) and to be able to have a heart to heart where both people can understand is a big bonus of a relationship... is that another reason why foreign guys want a J-chick who may not speak great english because they can be dominant over them?? > > Anyways, I apologise if this makes no real sense, I don't really know how to explain how I feel, but yeah, reply with your explanations, I'm really interested in hearing your reasons....